The big 3-0!! I made it to thirty; wasn't sure I would see
this mile stone of life.
I watched the sun rise this morning it was amazing. The
orange and red colors bouncing off the low lying clouds were of this world,
seeing the brush stokes wispy and bold all mixed together makes me ever so
thankful for the power and privilege of eye sight. Listening to the wind whip
and howl mixed with the click and clatter of metal reminds me I get the joys of
hearing life! So not only do I get to see my daughters' smiles I get to hear
their laughter and feel their hugs and kisses. Life is a miracle.
I've been through many trials in life but each time I have
picked up, dusted off, and lived to fight another day. I want to give glory to
God for bringing me through the difficult times as I look back I can see the
work he had done and the strength he has given me. I have an amazing husband who truly is my best friend. I am blown away by the amount of support I have from him, he is my right hand wing man!
My daughters they renew my heart every day. Watching them
grow and change is such a blessing. Who knew LOVE could be so amazing. It
really is true that the moment you give birth is the moment that you allow your
heart to walk around this world outside your body.
I have step children, I know that I am not nor will I ever
be the world’s greatest step mom, but I have done better than the multiple step
parents I had growing up. I tried to teach the kids to be respectful and
responsible but I can't change their genetics or the examples they had before I
entered the picture. I can love them for who they are, but I have to let them
lead their lives the way they choose. I can be there as a friend who encourages
them to be the best they can be and to try and be successful in life.
During the course of the last year I have come to accept the
fact that childhood friends don't always last a lifetime. We have all grown and
changed, and moved on. I always thought that I would keep my personal life away
from work and "work friends" away from my personal life, but somewhere
along the way the line blurred. Now some of my closest friends are those that I
work with; we vent, we ask advice, and we encourage each other. I am blessed to
call them friends. Now it's out with the old and in with the new but we must
never forget the impact old friends had on our hearts or the lessons we
learned.
I have learned that families grow and drift apart. Growing
up I didn't have the "Leave it to Beaver" or "Brady Bunch"
family. We had really hard times with a sprinkle of happiness. Some of us don't
talk to each other nor do we associate with each other and that's okay.
Sometimes you have to cut ties to let the hurt feelings heal. I know there are
family members who are angry with me, and I can only pray that they learn the
lesson of forgiveness. There has been a ton of hurt and anger in my life but I have to let it go. The past is the past, it is what it is, I can't change it. And I certainly do not want to let the negativities of my past override the positives and joy that is on its way. She did, he did, they did, but what was done is done and it is over. Growing up, moving on, chapter is closed, and the page has been turned.
Now as I travel through the next decade of life I am going
to take these lessons in life and grow from them. I am going to allow God to
mold me into the person I am meant to be. I have to remember that no matter how
bad I feel life is, there is always somebody out there who is in a worse
situation.
