Fork in the Road

It truly is the little things in life that matter. Celebrating the little battles won, college algebra as an example. We hosted a Potluck BBQ and those that attended really make my heart smile. They were here to celebrate a triumphant feat that cause loads of anxiety and tears. Stood behind me the entire way encouraging and helping the best they could. Then there were those that simply ignored the invitation, text messages, or said the might attend (each maybe is always a solid no without saying "no"). Those that have conditional love. Those that constantly refuse to celebrate the good.

I have come face to face with a fork in the road. One path leads to heartache the other path to loneliness. What way do I go?

Do I go down the path of heartache and continue to care for the people who don't reciprocate the care back, always taking for themselves but never giving?

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Do I go down the path that leaves all behind and make a life only with those who do not make me feel inadequate?

I have so much chaos in my mind and heart that I am at a loss of what direction I am suppose to go. God never said that life will be easy, He just said that life would be worth it.

I need to still the muddy thoughts, and turmoil deep inside and try to hear the voice of God.

What lesson am I learning?

I am learning that I should not work for conditional love. There are many people that I have an Earthly relationship with that make me feel I am not good enough. I quit, I am not going to attempt to "earn" love from anybody.  I deserve unconditional love. My God gives me that, no matter how many mistakes I make, no matter how many times I repeat the same mistake, God doesn't hold that against me. He makes me feel wanted.

I have to trust in HIM.