Young People and Dating

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What is it with today's youth, bouncing from boy/girl saying they are dating? Do they not understand that you have to be mature, responsible, respectful, and honest to be in a relationship? If they are lying to their parents, hiding it from the public's eye, or keeping it a secret from their siblings is it really dating?

There are so many emotions that get tied up in the dating scene. Today's youth throw the word LOVE around like it doesn't mean anything. I love your shirt. I love your hair. They do not understand what the true meaning of love is. How can they say "I love you" to a person they are dating if they do not understand the real meaning?

Love according to a Google-definition search:

love

ləv/

noun

1. 1.

   an intense feeling of deep affection.

   "babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"

   synonyms:

   deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment,endearment; More
2. 2.

   a person or thing that one loves.

   "she was the love of his life"

   synonyms:

   beloved, loved one, love of one's life, dear, dearest, dear one, darling,sweetheart, sweet, angel, honey; More

verb

1. 1.

   feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).

   "do you love me?"

   synonyms:

   care very much for, feel deep affection for, hold very dear, adore, think the world of, be devoted to, dote on, idolize, worship

I feel that most youth are getting Love confused with Lust.



Google definition search for Lust

lust

ləst/

noun

1. 1.

   very strong sexual desire.

   "he knew that his lust for her had returned"

   synonyms:

   sexual desire, sexual appetite, sexual longing, ardor, desire, passion;More

verb

1. 1.

   have a very strong sexual desire for someone.

   "he really lusted after me in those days"

   synonyms:

   desire, be consumed with desire for, find sexually attractive, crave,covet, ache for, burn for

 Being in a serious dating relationship is not simple. It is complex. It can be extremely emotional (happy, sad, exciting, depressing, hurtful). I do not think that teenagers understand this, and certainly a child at the age of 12 cannot possible grasp this concept. Serious relationships are hard work.

 I understand if they like or feel attracted to a person whether it be the opposite or same sex. I understand they could want to explore what it is like to be with that person in a relationship that is more then a friendship. What I do not understand is at the age of 12 how can they say they are dating? They can't drive. They don't have a job to pay for the expenses of dating. Do they really know what dating is? I do not believe that dating is sitting at lunch holding hands, or ignoring each other in the hallways at school.

I know that dating is part of growing up. I do not understand why teenagers or preteens feel the need to find a part of their identity in somebody else. I was a teenager who fell in love young, I got married when I was 17 for Pete's sake. I, also, got divorced in my early 20s.

At what age should dating be acceptable? I think 14 is acceptable, but I also think that all dates should be chaperoned or group dates until both people have drivers license. I do not think that the age  of 12 is acceptable. I do not think that a child at that age is mature enough mentally and emotionally to handle a romantic relationship. I do not think a child who is not responsible for little things is ready for the responsibility of a relationship or the complexity of dating.

How a person can say they are dating somebody but they don't even know what their favorite food is, or their favorite movie, or their favorite anything because they simply follow the crowd.  In my opinion a person should know their own inner being before they can assume they know enough to be connected to another person intimately.

What happens if a 12 year old claims to be dating, starts exploring such as hand holding, kissing, and then gets into a situation they are not mentally or emotionally ready to handle? What if they go too far and can't get the situation back under control? What if they want to stop but are continually urged and pressured to go farther? Do youth truly understand the dangers?

I welcome comments to further the discussion on youth and dating. What standards do other parents put into place? What rules do you have for your children?