Magic Mike...50 Shades.... think about it!

I have noticed on Facebook

...yep I went back, but I have a yearning to go away again....

there is a sequel coming out for a movie that a lot of women are overjoyed to go to the theater to watch. There is another movie that is be released this month based off a very popular book trilogy.

Both these films and book series have a similar theme. 

LUST...there I said it. 

Am I guilt of reading the book trilogy? Yes, I sure am.

But what drew me into the series?

I can say it is the excitement of the dramatic adventure of a relationship that seems to have been doomed from the beginning. I can say it was for "ideas" of how to make my personal life better.

  Would these be true? I don't think so. Sure they spiced my drive temporarily, but they actual pulled me away from the relationship with my husband. 

This placed an unattainable ideal in my mind and heart that our relationship was not right. We weren't spicy enough, we do not go out much, we are just a mundane average boring couple. I would stay up late to read the books, I would be tired all day, but I would stay up late again, and again, again. It was a cycle of being tired but wanting to know to what was going to happen next...slightly borderline addiction. Good things the series was only 3 books!

My life with my husband is amazing. He makes the mundane fun, he knows just how to kiss my forehead when I need it most, or touch my arm in a lovely way that only he can do.  I never knew I could love a man as deeply and wholly as I do with him. My husband goes away for work and I am lost...I have to sleep in a cold bed, in silence...even his breathing is a comfort to me and when I don't hear it my heart aches.

What has this got to do with a movie or book series? Well reading this book series was just as bad as watching porn. The only difference was I had the movie playing in my mind not on a screen. I let these characters into my life, I even created their physical body's with my minds eye.

This series lead me into temptation:

Cravings: for things I didn't need...I craved for a life that wasn't mine...a life that is immoral
Lust of the eyes:  it may have been my mind's eye but I lusted for the physical body of the character I created.

Is this the wholesome Godly life I am suppose to live? No, reading these types of books is not any different then watching pornography on the television, computer monitor, or the big screen at a theater.

What example was a I setting to my daughters? They saw me sitting there is the book in my hand, they could read the title. Guess what as they grow up they can do research and find out just what kind of reading materials it truly was they saw mom (me) reading.

I have never asked my husband what he thought about those books. Like I said it spiced my drive, if only temporarily. Why would I want to allow another male figure into our bedroom, even if it was a fantasy figure made up in a book series brought to life in my own lustful mind? Is that not committing adultery? How can I say to my husband, I do not want you to look at magazines with nude women or watch videos, if I (in my own mind) am doing just that? That was not fair to place that double standard on him. I feel ashamed of that, how hypocritical of me!

Is this the type of material I would want my Savior to see in my house if He were to knock on my door tonight? NO! I look back and I am deeply saddened by my actions, I am regretful. With prayer, and faith I will attempt to not be led into this temptation any farther.


1 John 2:15-17 (HCSB)
^15 Do not love the world or the things in that belong to the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. ^16 For everything that belongs to the world--the lust of flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one's lifestyle--is not from the Father, but is from the world. ^17 And the world with its lust is passing away, but the one who does God's will remains forever.

Matthew 5:27-28 ^ 27 You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. ^27 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Ladies does this not apply to us as well?
1 Corinthians 10:23 Everything is permissible, but not everything is helpful.

Just because we can doesn't mean we should read or watch such shows.

I'm a stay at home Mom...so what do I do all day?

Today I am pondering what exactly my "job description" entails?

I am a home owner. I am the scrubber, wiper, soaker, gardener, sweeper, and plumper.

I am a wife. I have nutritional intake to ponder, hydration to think about, ensure medical needs get met,  physical comfort to give and enjoy, emotional counselor, partner to help with property chores, encouraging friend, the reminder, and sounding board. I am the accountant, financial planner, and office manager.

I am a mother. I am a nutritionist, encourager, listen, advise giver, disciplinary (rarely thankfully), fight mediator, house keeper, taxi driver, appointment maker and keeper, cheerleader, supporter, hugger, holder, spiritual advisor, tutor, and hair curling braiding tycoon. I am the party planner, organizer, and gift giver.

I am a baby sitter. I ensure safety of other mothers' child(ren) often. Which often includes the same description as mother, but only for kids who are not my own.

I am a friend. I am a listener, confidant, sounding board, encourager, helper, and advise giver.

I am a full time college student. I have text books to read, papers to write, discussion to take part in, assignments to complete, and quizzes to stress over.

I am an aunt, sister, daughter, granddaughter, and cousin. I am a step mother, step daughter, sister in law, and step grandmother.

Mainly I am an unconditional love giving fool.

The next time I wonder if I am even remotely useful I will think about this "Job Description" and see that even though it may not look like much to other people I am a very busy person. I work hard to do what is best for my family, I strive to help others when I can and the best I can.

Hurtful Relationships

There comes a time in ours lives when we need to take a deep breath and look back. We have to examine our hearts and look into our deeds. We all have done things in the past that haunt us. We all have had things done to us that cause mistrust, and anger. It is this that can cause strife in our current relationships.

When a relationship ends there is usually a great deal of bitterness that comes into the the lives of those who were involved. For example when a marriage fails. The separating partners carry baggage with them into the next relationship. Occasionally this can cause behaviors to change in a positive way and make the new relationships stronger and better. However, most of the time it does just the opposite. It destroys the new relationship, It can, also, damage the relationship with other people that were part of that marriage; children.

In a previous post I spoke about my past. My relationships with my parents suffer because their marriage ended. I cannot have family dinners because there is still anger boiling.  My daughters are getting hurt because of this too. Everybody claims "oh well it's their loss they didn't come to this [fill in the appropriate occasion (birthday party-graduation-concert-ball game)]".

 In all actuality my daughters are getting hurt. I have to explain to them why Papa and Nana both are never at the celebrations. I have to look at my child and apologize for the actions that have happened that I had no part of. I have to sooth the tears. I get to re-live my own hurts and see them in the eyes of my girls.

I was at the book store today and gravitated towards the Christian Section. There was something I needed. I stumbled on this beautiful little book at a bargain price. It is a book of prayers. Prayers for 10 different situations that happen in life. I have meandered through it and have seen so many that fit my day, and so many that fit other people in my life. The opening part of the book speaks about the prayers listed and how they are to help you begin to draft you own prayers.

 From my heart:

Dear Lord,
I so want to find a way to have a relationship with my parents. Father, although you see their way of approaching a relationship is highly dysfunctional. I cannot help but love them both. By your grace Lord, Yours alone, I was brought to life by these two people.
I just don't know how to navigate being around them when their hurts, habits, and hang-ups are constantly wreaking havoc.
Do I stay away?
Do I continue to try?
Do I confront, again and again?
Lord, I do not know what to do, but You do. God, please grant me wisdom; help me listen to your guidance and follow Your ways. Even if this path hurts more, Lord, I know you will always be there. I know there will be a reason for the pain I have endured and the pain that is to come.
Lord, please help me be a comfort to my hurting daughters as they are caught in the midst of this battle of anger and hurt. Lord I ask these plights in Your name. Amen.

Commit your way to the Lord                           Hatred stirs up strife                    Do not hasten in your
Trust also in Him,                                              But Love covers all sins.             spirit to be angry,
and He shall bring it to pass                               Proverbs 10:12                            For anger rests in
Psalm 37:5                                                                                                              in the heart of fools
                                                                                                                                Ecclesiastes 7:9

I kept my anger from doing this!

The section was very fitting for my moment of pure rage today at the dealership. I, actually, had to remove myself from the service department and collect my emotions. I was so livid I was shaking. Not long ago I got a daily verse on my phone, and it immediately popped into my mind.  "Set a Guard, O Lord over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips"--Psalms 141:3 Right here on the service guys desk is this little pamphlet titled "Keep your Cool!"  It may not mean much to others but it was a reminder to control my anger...and as I was storming out to my car, that is still broken, God spoke lightly and calmed my anger. Even though those little signs may not mean much to others, some of us take it as a word from above.  I was blessed that the issue presented itself while my car was still sitting in the service departments parking lot and not while I was cruising down the road at 65 miles an hour. God is good!



It is not because I want to stir up trouble that I lay my hurts, and thoughts out like this. I know that I am not alone in having to deal with these struggles. There are families everywhere that deal with issues similar. If I touch just one person's life and help them gain footing again then my work is for nothing. If I touch one heart and help them learn to Love and Lean on God...then I have succeeded.

Young People and Dating

Image Source

What is it with today's youth, bouncing from boy/girl saying they are dating? Do they not understand that you have to be mature, responsible, respectful, and honest to be in a relationship? If they are lying to their parents, hiding it from the public's eye, or keeping it a secret from their siblings is it really dating?

There are so many emotions that get tied up in the dating scene. Today's youth throw the word LOVE around like it doesn't mean anything. I love your shirt. I love your hair. They do not understand what the true meaning of love is. How can they say "I love you" to a person they are dating if they do not understand the real meaning?

Love according to a Google-definition search:

love

ləv/

noun

1. 1.

   an intense feeling of deep affection.

   "babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"

   synonyms:

   deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment,endearment; More
2. 2.

   a person or thing that one loves.

   "she was the love of his life"

   synonyms:

   beloved, loved one, love of one's life, dear, dearest, dear one, darling,sweetheart, sweet, angel, honey; More

verb

1. 1.

   feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).

   "do you love me?"

   synonyms:

   care very much for, feel deep affection for, hold very dear, adore, think the world of, be devoted to, dote on, idolize, worship

I feel that most youth are getting Love confused with Lust.



Google definition search for Lust

lust

ləst/

noun

1. 1.

   very strong sexual desire.

   "he knew that his lust for her had returned"

   synonyms:

   sexual desire, sexual appetite, sexual longing, ardor, desire, passion;More

verb

1. 1.

   have a very strong sexual desire for someone.

   "he really lusted after me in those days"

   synonyms:

   desire, be consumed with desire for, find sexually attractive, crave,covet, ache for, burn for

 Being in a serious dating relationship is not simple. It is complex. It can be extremely emotional (happy, sad, exciting, depressing, hurtful). I do not think that teenagers understand this, and certainly a child at the age of 12 cannot possible grasp this concept. Serious relationships are hard work.

 I understand if they like or feel attracted to a person whether it be the opposite or same sex. I understand they could want to explore what it is like to be with that person in a relationship that is more then a friendship. What I do not understand is at the age of 12 how can they say they are dating? They can't drive. They don't have a job to pay for the expenses of dating. Do they really know what dating is? I do not believe that dating is sitting at lunch holding hands, or ignoring each other in the hallways at school.

I know that dating is part of growing up. I do not understand why teenagers or preteens feel the need to find a part of their identity in somebody else. I was a teenager who fell in love young, I got married when I was 17 for Pete's sake. I, also, got divorced in my early 20s.

At what age should dating be acceptable? I think 14 is acceptable, but I also think that all dates should be chaperoned or group dates until both people have drivers license. I do not think that the age  of 12 is acceptable. I do not think that a child at that age is mature enough mentally and emotionally to handle a romantic relationship. I do not think a child who is not responsible for little things is ready for the responsibility of a relationship or the complexity of dating.

How a person can say they are dating somebody but they don't even know what their favorite food is, or their favorite movie, or their favorite anything because they simply follow the crowd.  In my opinion a person should know their own inner being before they can assume they know enough to be connected to another person intimately.

What happens if a 12 year old claims to be dating, starts exploring such as hand holding, kissing, and then gets into a situation they are not mentally or emotionally ready to handle? What if they go too far and can't get the situation back under control? What if they want to stop but are continually urged and pressured to go farther? Do youth truly understand the dangers?

I welcome comments to further the discussion on youth and dating. What standards do other parents put into place? What rules do you have for your children?